xtorn_fleshx (xtorn_fleshx) wrote,

its hard to come to terms with it

i understand that its very unlikely i will ever have my feelings reciprocated when it comes to lovers. because honestly i love too intensely. its difficult for me to fall ...but when i do its like an anchor to the ocean...and if/when the other person gives up on me.. its like the boat left with my heart (the anchor) still sunken and forgotten at the bottom.. and the pieces left with them will never return to me. i love with my whole heart...and yet only whats left of it...as every love ive had...carries a fragment whether they realize it or not.

this is a problem for me though... because since i feel like this, its hard to see the less intense versions of love that are returned, as love at all...

and i wonder...am i always going to feel unloved even when i am loved?

my love can destroy or save the world with its power...yet i feel so alone...i dont think its possible to find another person who feels like me...even if they say they do, they usually just cant compare.

when i say "i fucking love you" its because i cant explain in any way in the english language just how i feel... so i emphasize the word with an expletive, and i guess youll just never know

when i say you are wonderful its because even though i get frustrated and can be bitter... i love absolutely every aspect of you...and i always will love you

my love never fades or dies, and i carry pain of loss with me into next relationships ...i will always love you
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